Posted on June 28, 2016 by Melanie Brown
Why can’t we say exactly what we feel?
Why are we worried about airs and graces and therefore hold back?
Do we do this because we want to please others?
Why is it so important to please others?
Are you happy when you please others?
A lot of questions I know, but these are the same questions I was asking myself yesterday when someone asked me and a friend to do something which we really didn’t want to do.
I simply gave an outright no. One of the people in the group wanted to say no but reluctantly agreed to do it. But you could see from their face that they really regretted their decision.
When our mutual friend was out of the picture, I asked them if they were happy with their decision to which they blurted out, “I could just kick myself!” They had only agreed to save face. They did not want to look bad to the other person, but as a result of this decision, they were feeling pretty awful. My friend did not want to offend anyone by not agreeing and in fact began thinking of a way to getting out of it.
Personally, I thought that this could have all been avoided by being honest. Why put yourself in a position where you put yourself under pressure and feel remorse only to keep someone else happy.
I think that a lot of us actually do this because we fear what others think if we say no. We believe that we are going to be criticized and perhaps socially cut off. But if people really make you feel like this, is this really a circle that you want to be a part of?
At the end of the day, it is your life! You should not feel forced into making decisions that you later regret, all because you fear what someone will do or say. You should be able to express yourself without fear and if someone dislikes your decision, then that’s their problem. Not yours! That’s called the beauty of saying what you feel.
Posted in The Beauty Of Saying What You Feel